after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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