I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
They took my balls.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
