she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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