when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
