he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
