I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
