i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
