guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
