You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
