Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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