I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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