She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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