I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
