Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
