Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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