Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
