I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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