He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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