Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.

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(848): View more from New Jersey

life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash

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(317): View more from Indiana

my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive

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(309): View more from Illinois

i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.

(309): View more from Illinois

so finals studying is going well?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand

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(417): View more from Missouri

She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.

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(317): View more from Indiana

If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!

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