Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
