You work out of a Hotel?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize