And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize