Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
