Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
farters have to be the big spoon...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
