those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
