Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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