; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
