you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
