you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
