I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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