I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
