hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
