I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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