your parents love me but you hate me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
