Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
