Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
