The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
