PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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