we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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