I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
