There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
