Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
