Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
