i think my tv is drunk
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
