so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
if only i could text you this smell
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize