wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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