I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
