Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
