I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
