the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
