420 ftw
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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