But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
