i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
