I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
