He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
