Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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