You really coming over, don't trick.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
