Im at strip club and am horny
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
