Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
