Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Text me some of your sweat
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
