I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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