you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
