Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
