scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I can feel your judgement through the phone
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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