I want to have your abortion
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
