just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
