You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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