Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
