i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
