It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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