Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didn't notice because vodka
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
